Bad Joke Friday

[DrPhilPhreak4Jesus69420]

"Ah, so sorry,” the waiter replies, “I bring you Peeking Duck."

Oh man, that's good.  First one I had not already heard.
 

[J. Grouchy]

or people with no arms and no legs....

ah...you know Bob?  

[sassyassy]

or people with no arms and no legs....

ah...you know Bob?   

and pat, matt, frank, art...

[DrPhilPhreak4Jesus69420]

Don't forget the dead baby jokes and chicken sex jokes.

[Opti1]

or people with no arms and no legs....

ah...you know Bob?   

and pat, matt, frank, art...

When skiing he goes by Skip.

[adamphoto]

don't make me break out my jokes about ethiopians, 9/11, dead babies, hellen keller, the challenger explosion, or people with no arms and no legs....

[sassyassy]

don't make me break out my jokes about ethiopians, 9/11, dead babies, hellen keller, the challenger explosion, or people with no arms and no legs....

how could i forget, some of my favorites!! poor helen keller's face 

[Opti1]

Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the
children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers
came up - fireman, policeman, salesman, etc... Johnny was being
uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his
father.

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes
off all his clothes in front of other men.

Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with
some guy and make love with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Johnny aside
to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," said Johnny, "He is an assistant coach for the
michigan wolverines, but I was too embarrassed to say so."

[DavEAV]

"No," said Johnny, "He is an assistant coach for the
michigan wolverines, but I was too embarrassed to say so."

You know why Bo Schembecker ate his breakfast on a plate?

If it was in a bowl, he'd lose it.



What does Michigan and weed have in common?

Both get smoked in bowls.


  

[Opti1]

A vulture boarded a plane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess stopped him and said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."

NASA recently sent a number of Holsteins into orbit for experimental purposes.
They called it the herd shot round the world.

[The Lord of the Jungle]

I knew I could count on y'all.

[mellamur]

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. The first one said to the other," You stay here and I'll go on ahead. "

[The Lord of the Jungle]

A father calls up his son, says he wants to take him to a hockey game.  Son says the game is sold out, no way you can get tickets.  Dad says that the goalie for the visiting team is an old friend of his, and the guy had offered him his two tix.  So they go, have a great time, and after the game the goaltender comes up, and offers to take them to dinner.

So off to dinner they went....











The father, the son, and the goalie host.

[Opti1]

"No," said Johnny, "He is an assistant coach for the
michigan wolverines, but I was too embarrassed to say so."

You know why Bo Schembecker ate his breakfast on a plate?

If it was in a bowl, he'd lose it.



What does Michigan and weed have in common?

Both get smoked in bowls.


  

Nice sig, and muck fichigan (you'll notice, it's never capitalized).

Did you hear about the Buddhist who went to the dentist and refused to take Novocain?



He wanted to transcend dental medication.

[vigodas-pants]

a blind man walks into a convenience store with his dog.  the clerk watches in astonishment as the man starts swinging his dog in the air by its leash.  the clerk yells, "hey buddy, what are you doing?!"











he responds, "just taking a look around."